Magic: the Parody

Sunny Cocks

Legendary Creature : Poker Face

You can't lose the game if you're playing a test session.

Look your library, then put the cards back in any order. Play this ability anytime your opponent isn't looking.

You may ignore any rule of the game.

Whenever your opponent calls a judge, take a game lost.

"Je savais pas qu'on pouvait pas <insert broken rule>"

0/4

Phillipe "Polype" Massart



Legendary Creature - Veldaken Artomancer

vigilance, protection from artifact, can block any number of creatures
: put a "Hugoken" counter on target creature, creature with a "Hugoken" counter is a hugoken artefact creature in addition of his creature type.
: each hugoken creature must attack this turn if able.
: return Phillipe "Polype" Massart in his/her owner's hand.

1/7


Hugoken: ....but you have no skills!!!!
Polype: ....who's talking to me....????

Veldaken Academy Chronicles, chapter 3

Tom, Master Trashtalker Wannabe
Legendary Creature - Human Wizard

, , try to trashtalk an opponent : If this opponent is a beginner at Magic : The Gathering, he have to made a missplay this turn. If not, this opponent laught and trashtalk you back.
, : Make an awful pick in draft. If somebody notice that and tell you 'you are such a newb', you can pay . If you do, trashtalk this person and explain him he is a real daube.

Switch Tom, Master Trashtalker's power and toughness if you are in Day 2 of a tournament.

9/1

Hiroshiman's Rage
sorcery
pay 19 life: Hiroshiman's Rage deal 20 damages to target opponent.

"A Magic, y'a pas d'points pour le style." Marc Monin

Dosimont, the Ingineer alterer UW


Dosimont, the Ingineer alterer comes onto
the battlefield with five TFE counters on it.

At the begining of your upkeep, remove a TFE counter from
Dosimont, the Ingineer alterer then put two TFE counters on it.

Whenever Dosimont, the Ingineer alterer has no counters on it,
sacrifice it and put a 10/10 Ingineer creature token with flying, trample and shroud
onto the battlefield.

Shroud

" ..."

0/1

Eddy's Rage

Instant

You can play Eddy's Rage only if you think you will win the game.
You lose the game, throw your deck against the wall.
If your opponent is called Manu la chatte, drop from the tournament and go smoking

"putain ... Manu t'es infame ..." Eddy Bollue

Bennichou 1UG

Legendarily random creature : Sore Loser

You can't draw nonland cards.

0/1

"Mais putaiiiiiin"

Berserk of the Wolf

Enchantment - Aura

Target enchanted creature loses its creature type and becomes a 5/5 red trample Human creature named Eddy Bollue

"Putain, arrête de curver et trick moi à la place!!!!" -- Eddy Bollue

Antoine, the Cocks minion

Legendary creature - Goblin underling

: draft the worst deck ever
: target opponent manaflood
: target opponent manadeath
: target opponent mulligans

you cannot lose the game and your opponent cannot win the game if he controls "Tom, Master Trashtalker Wannabe"

2/1

"T'inquietes pas! J'ai un plan...." Antoine.

thomass a écrit:
: target opponent mulligans

si on était un minimum sérieux cette capacité mériterait haut la main la palme de l'inutilité.

thomass a écrit:Antoine, the Cocks minion

Legendary creature - Goblin underling

: draft the worst deck ever
: target opponent manaflood
: target opponent manadeath
: target opponent mulligans

you cannot lose the game and your opponent cannot win the game if he controls "Tom, Master Trashtalker Wannabe"

2/1

"T'inquietes pas! J'ai un plan...." Antoine.

Même faire une carte fictive semble être un challenge pour toi.

Unescapable Fate Of The Team Draft

Legendary Enchantement

You can't win the game and your opponents can't lose the game if you're from Bruxelles and they are from Liège.
Whenever a player from Liège controls Bruno, Apprentice Drafter, destroy Unescapable Fate Of The Team Draft.

"Arrête, c'est des fishs, ils essaient de nous mindtricker et ils croient qu'on va marcher. Il l'a pas sa wrath!"
"Bon je wrath et je pose mon spoiler. On a déjà 5 wins ?"

Bruno, Apprentice Drafter

Legendary Creature: Cocks Minion

You can't play any spell that could be synergistic with another spell you have played before.
Whenever you should draw a card, you may search your library for any card and put it into your hand instead. If you do, you have to say "Bim, topdeck!", and play it.

2/3

"C'est de la bombe, mon deck!"
- Bruno, Apprentice Drafter

Swap, the Mastermind

Legendary Creature - Veldaken Mastermind Wizard

Phasing, shroud

When Swap the Mastermind comes into play, target opponents cannot win the game

When Swap the Mastermind leaves play, target opponents can win the game

: Swap, the Mastermind becomes a 2/4 Human Romanian Bard

: Swap, the Mastermind's controller wins a Pro Tour

"Quoi, il faut swapper les decks?" -- Swap, the apprentice deckbuilder

1/4

Mr. Marc, Avatar of Infinite Rage

Legendary Creature - Barbarian Human Warrior

Cannot be countered

Madness

Haste, trample, provoke, flanking, first strike, protection from blue, protection from control

Mr. Marc, Avatar of Infinite Rage deals 3 damage to target player or creature. Damage cannot be prevented. A creature dealt damage this way cannot be regenerated

Mr. Marc, Avatar of Infinite Rage deals 6 damage divided as you choose among any number of target white and/or blue creatures and/or players


"J'aime la couture, le crochet, le tricot et la broderie" --Mr. Marc, Avatar of Infinite Rage

7/1